My Journey: Obsession, Failure, and AI as an Anchor

Everyone talks about AI today. About the gold rush, hype, and quick success. My story is different. It is about obsession, failure, and why AI is the only place that truly makes sense for me – an autistic person from a craftsman family.

Chapter 1: Solving the Problem, Not Seeking the Hype

It all started in 2017. I had begun with computer security, moved towards automation, and finally found AI. I wanted my systems to be intelligent and reactive. While others were talking about blockchain, my mother stood in the supermarket unable to read her ingredient list because she had forgotten her glasses. I wanted to help. Classic text recognition failed on round cans and crinkling bags. So I discarded the standards and built a solution that overlaid video frames in real-time until the text was statistically likely to be correct.

I was supposed to be studying for my Abitur at vocational school at the time. But while I was bored by some subjects and overwhelmed by others like electrical engineering, this project captivated me. When my mother's phone finally signaled "Gluten-free," I knew: This is it. School and small talk were difficult for me, but in the logic of algorithms, I felt safe.

Chapter 2: The Wilderness of Entrepreneurship

Out of naivety and coincidence, I became an entrepreneur. It started with an idea for a dietary map, but primarily, we founded the company for legal protection, the idea we could make some money while we have some time and so I could invoice for coding tasks I did for a disability institution. My partner, an economist, saw a bigger opportunity. After these initial projects, we pivoted to a much larger goal: A local voice assistant, completely offline. I bit into the problem. We wanted to make speech recognition possible for people with speech impediments – a group often ignored by Big Tech. Technically, it was fascinating. Humanly, it was hell. While my partner handled the business side, I almost broke under the pressure and social interaction that self-employment demanded. I functioned until I didn't anymore.

Chapter 3: SSH from the Ward

After 1.5 years came the collapse. A year of sick leave, two stays in psychiatry. There, at my absolute low point during my second stay, AI saved me. But there was another savior: my service dog. He had entered my life shortly before we founded the company and stood by me through all the stress. Without him, I probably wouldn't have found the strength to get back up after that year of illness.

While others went to occupational therapy, I sat there with my Chromebook, connected via SSH to my workstation with a GPU at home, and fought my way back to #1 on the leaderboards on "Papers with Code" (HuggingFace). I knew I couldn't just code away my mental health problems. But I could push the boundaries of technology. That gave me stability.

Chapter 4: The Rocky Road Back

The job market is not made for people with severe disabilities, autism, and an assistance dog. I failed at applications. I helped out in my father's craft business for a while, but I couldn't find my place. I quit jobs after one day because the pressure of sole responsibility was too great. I even left my safe harbor at primeLine to join an startup, driven by the desire to work on the OpenEuroLLM project. But after 2.5 months, I returned. It wasn't a fit. I realized I need an environment without rigid hierarchies and the constant need for deep social coordination. At primeLine, I have the freedom to make decisions without constantly explaining the "strange" logic in my head or justifying my unconventional approaches. I cannot blindly follow instructions; I need the space to understand and solve problems in my own way.

Chapter 5: Arrived (Status Quo)

Today I am where I belong – but only because I found the right environment. A former colleague brought me into his team. I now work deep in hardware, write test reports for chip manufacturers, advise universities, and consult for large industrial companies. Why does it work?

No Pity: I want to convince through performance, not through my disability status.

Flexibility: If I "drop out" for two days, I make up for it tenfold during my hyperfocus phases.

Results over Presence: I work part-time to have a buffer for bad days. But when I'm in the tunnel, I achieve more than many do in full-time.

My Appeal to Employers and Those Affected

My "superpower" is biting into things. I don't give up until the solution is there, no matter how unconventional it seems. But this power comes at a price. To all employers: Dare to do it. People who are "different" don't need special treatment out of pity, but a setup that unleashes their strengths and cushions their weaknesses. And to everyone currently at a low point: There is a way back. Find an environment that fits, not one you have to squeeze yourself into.

I would not go down the path of self-employment again. I need security and peace. But I am glad that I followed my calling to AI – it was and is my anchor.